Work Life harmony with Nkem Offonabo

Nkem Offonabo, The HARMONISER is a Purpose-Driven woman on a mission to help BUSY, OVERWHELMED, and BURNED-OUT professionals and executives live a MEANINGFUL, WHOLESOME, and PRODUCTIVE lives across the critical areas of life to achieve WORK-LIFE HARMONY.
A graduate in Psychology with a Special Executive Management Program (SEMP) MBA from Metropolitan School of Business and Management, United Kingdom. She is a certified Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHRi®️) and an Associate of the Chartered Institute of Personnel Management of Nigeria (ACIPM) with 15+ years’ work experience across Human Resources, Product and Business Development in Financial
Services and Consulting. 
Nkem is a certified Integrative Life Coach and Behavioral Change Therapist; an alumnus of Olusola Lanre Coaching Academy with certificate in Life Coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Life Design and Mastery, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Matrix Re-imprinting. She is the Founder of The Work-Life Organisation Global Ltd, a Human Capital and Organisational Transformation Consultancy, where she works with organizations to provide Coaching, Therapy, Employee Wellness Programs, Corporate Training, Talent Acquisition and Onboarding, Organisation Development and Human Resource Management.

Her book: THE HARMONIZED LIFE can be gotten from any Rovingsheight book store (https://rhbooks.com.ng/) or her website www.nkemoffonabo.com

Nkem can be contacted via hello@nkemoffonabo.com or +2348170309544 

Transcript

  So finally,  it's so good to connect with you, Nkem. Thank you so much for choosing to be on this podcast.  I'm really,  excited about this because I've been following your work for a long time now.  It's unique, it's educative, it's inspiring at the same time.

Okay, so let me just ask you to tell me or to tell us about yourself.  Wow.  When I hear that question, I'm always like, okay,  where do I start from? But the simple way for me, which,  covers who I am is to say that I am the harmonizer, right? And my name is Nkem Offonabo. I am a purpose-driven woman on a journey to help busy, overwhelmed, and burnt-out professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs to lead a meaningful, wholesome, and productive life across the critical areas of their lives to achieve work-life harmony. 

So, and this is not something I, I just woke up to write so I remember in  2008 when I started working before I joined the band. So, I worked with a consulting firm,  which has become a certification edge now.  Yes. So I remember the MD then you'll come to the office to ask us, what's your purpose in life?

You know, that was the first time I had that question. What's your purpose in life? And I'm like,  I don't know, like, what's my purpose?  And that was when I started thinking about that deeply.  I started praying about it deeply.  But at that time, it didn't come to me until 2015, or 2016. So 2015,  I had some personal experiences that kind of disrupted my life it affected every area of my life.

And it left me kind of in a very devastated state.  I was trying to wrap my life up. I was trying to understand why I'm on earth. So imagine a question that someone threw at me on 20, 2008.  It took how many years in 2015 2016 I think around 2017. Yeah,  that's,  I kind of put thoughts into that question again, what's my purpose on earth, because I at that point when I was in that state, I'll call the spiritual director and I will, you know, lament.

I don't know why I'm still living. I can't even think of anything and they will all draw me back to, I said, if you want to know why you are on Earth, you need to go ask the person that put you on Earth to understand why you are on point. I just stopped.  I just stopped being sad about the state of my life, and I focused on God,  prayed, fasted, everything.

And I was asking God one simple question, what's my purpose on earth?  And eventually, it was revealed to me, like, I was in my, in my room, and it felt like I was in church. You know, those big screens. Yeah.  They always display.  Scriptures or when the choirs are singing or not. And I thought it was only written to energize and empower people to live a meaningful, wholesome, and productive life. 

Wow. And ultimately bring them close to the father's hearts.  Wow. Yes. And that was it.  Okay. So,  with self, self-discovery, self-mastery,  and of course, when I wrote my book, I wanted to call the book,  the work-life harmony, sorry, work-life Balance formula.  And that was also at a point when I started my life coaching journey with Lanre Olushola. 

And so I asked him a question, then I'm writing my book, and this is what my book is about.  And instead of asking me deeper questions, what do you want people to take out of this book? And I said I want them to be able to live meaningful, wholesome, and productive lives across all the important areas of their lives.

And he said, then it's not balance because balance is,  I'm trying to use the right word he used. I think he said it's an effort in futility.  That you actually can achieve balance.  It's more of harmony, right? Because the critical areas of our lives are different. And there's no way you can apportion the same amount of time and energy resources to them at the same time.

But what you are seeking is a state whereby there's harmony,  even though they are all different.  But...  There's something that you intend to achieve at the end of the day, which is peace, which is happiness, which is fulfillment, and all those things are so, you know, like music, right? There are different tones. 

 Different people sing soprano, tenor, alto, and all of that. But when you bring them together, what you achieve is a harmony. So basically, and that was when I thought about it.  And I said, okay, if this is what I help my people to achieve, then my book shouldn't be the work-life balance formula.

 He asked me to go and think about it. And what came to me was the harmonized life,  right? So this is just stories. Then  I went through a personality assessment. I'm sure you know about the DISC personality assessment.  So by the time I was done assessing myself, the results came out, I was high on I.

So D is dominant, I is influence, S is stability, and C is, I think C is compliance or something.  I realized that my dominant traits were I and S. One is influence, and of course, the second one, which is S, is stability.  And, what they call people that are high on those two.  Harmonizers. 

Wow. Wow. What a coincidence.  Interesting. Yeah, I was like, oh my God, I've found my, I've found my alter ego. I've found my identity.  So,  this is who I am. I'm the harmonizer. My name is Nkem Offonabo. Thank you. Wow. Wow. You know, so, oh my god. I was going to ask you, okay? Tell me about what you do. And then the next question I was going to ask you was because since I've been following you on social media, I've seen that you're always talking about work-life harmony.

And then, yeah, you don't use the word or the phrase work-life balance. So I was going to ask you why? Work-life harmony over work-life balance, which is something that's just out there. Everybody's saying, oh, I need, I need work-life balance in this my life. Oh my God, this is so good. And I just have to say that way we're talking about your story about what happened, how your purpose came to you. 

That was inspiring. I felt this. Kind of tiny burning sensation around my throat. That's what happens when I'm getting something inspiring like that. So thank you so much for sharing that. I'm going to ask you more about this. Okay. Because when we are talking about work-life harmony,  I think it should start from a place where people even know why they're on earth.

You know, as in, I think that'd be the first stage. Knowing why you're even on earth, and what's going on, before you know whether you're achieving that harmony in every aspect of your life. Okay, so I know you've had your own experience, which is inspiring.  Would you tell somebody else who is trying to figure it out, get out of that state of, I have no idea what's going on with my life to a place of,  I want to start achieving harmony with everything going on now?

Life is beginning to seem exciting. So how do you, how do you think somebody can get there?  Okay. I have what I call my anchor,  right? And even in anchor is something that unfolds.  everything together so you know about the ship anchor and all of that. So for me, I will ask you, the first question, what is your anchor, and who is your anchor? 

And if you have read my book, I think it was chapter two of my book, I said spirituality as an anchor.  So for me, it's my spirituality.  Yeah, I love to live life. I love the beautiful things in life. But then I also realized that life doesn't come easy. Yeah, there will be challenges.

There will be turbulence. There will be disruption,  but then who do I go to when life is chaotic?  And that is God. And that is my faith. And he is my anchor.  So when I think about my life.

Right. I have gone through a lot of things in this life. And then when people see me, they'll be like, Oh,  it seems like life is going easy for you. No,  it's not easy. I've gone through a lot. I've gone through hell and back,  but then where do I always find my anchor? Where do I find my strengths? Where do I find the purpose, the passion, the energy in the place of prayer?

It's in my relationship with God. So what I will ask the person is, who is your anchor?  What is your anchor? Mm hmm.  And it's only God that can sort you out when you find yourself in such a situation. Because like I told you, I was busy calling people that I think are spiritual, they can hear God.

Mm. I'll call the pastor, I'll call this priest, and I'll say, this is where I am, and I don't know how to get out of this stuck situation.  After every conversation, they will still tell me, go back to your God.  So I will tell you, go back to your God. I don't know what God you serve, but go back to your God.

Someone placed you here on earth. So you need to go back to him and know why he wants you in this situation, right?  He might not be the one that brought, it cause I don't believe some people say, Oh God brought this bad situation. God loves us. He will not want anything bad to happen to us. But sometimes we get ourselves into situations when we are not self-aware when we make the wrong decisions, right? 

But when we find ourselves in such a situation, the only person that can take us out of that situation is our God. He's inspiration from God and he's the only one that can guide you. You know how you talk to him, you know how he speaks to you, he is the only one that can sort you out.  So, that's, that's for me, God is my anchor, and my spirituality is an area of my life that I don't joke with. 

He always comes through for me.  Thank you so much for that. And you know that since this is for African professionals, we as Africans, are big on spirituality. So it's not something that we hide or something that we shy away from. So this is clear,  your anchor. Who is your anchor?

Or even what is your anchor? Just figure it out with your uncle. And I picked something from what you said, and that is nobody will do it for you. Nobody, nobody else is coming to tell you, Hey, hey, this is what you're going to do with your life. Because if somebody else is directing your life at a point, if you're frustrated and when things go wrong, you're going to blame the person for what's going on.

So it's best if you got it out to yourself with your uncle.  Right. Thank you so much. And then  I peeped a little into your book and I saw where you were talking about what are those two words?  Happiness and achievements.  No, no, that's enjoyment. Achievement and enjoyment.  Achievement and enjoyment, yeah.

I think I think you were talking about, if you want to describe what work-life harmony is for you, it has to have these two things. Achievements and enjoyment, I think, right? Yeah.  Can you tell us more about that? Because I like the word enjoyment.  Yes, yes. You know, everyone is talking about a soft life now, right? 

Oh, I want to live a soft life. Yeah, a soft life is a life of pleasure, enjoyment, and the like. But I tell you the truth,  you need money to sponsor a soft life.  Tell me about it. You can't travel to Las Vegas with zero, zero account balance. Oh my God. Sorry, let me just hold you there. Do you know something happened recently?

I traveled to Qatar recently and it was the economy that I flew.  Throughout that journey, I was so frustrated.  Like, I was tired of sitting, I needed a bigger space to relax, I would stand up, I would sit. Like I wasn't just comfortable, I was like, Oh my God, because God, is this a sign that next time I should try the business class? 

So now you're talking about money, oh, Oluwa! Yeah, that is it. So you can't have a life of enjoyment without a life of achievement.  Right.  So if you look at the 12 critical areas of life,  let me try and list them for you. So you have you have your home and family. That's one. You have your maybe relationship and marriage.

That's one. You have your career and business, whatever it is that you do. That's three.  Then you have maybe your finances, your wealth for You have five friendships, social network, that's six. You have your purpose, your passion, your energy, whatever you call it, six. You have rest, recreation, fun, that's seven.

You have your spirituality. You have your wellness.  So wellness could be spiritual, it could be physical, it could be emotional. You have wellness. You have success and achievement. There's a particular one that I've missed. 

Anyway, success and achievement are, important areas of life. It's a critical area of life. And what that speaks to is of all of these areas of your life.  What are the investments you are making in these areas of your life? Are you achieving the goals that you've set out to achieve? Are you successful?

What does success mean to you? Because you have to, first of all, define what success means to you. But by and large, achievement means that you are doing what you are expected to do. So, you cannot be jobless and want to be flying business class, first class, except you have someone who is, who is doing the work and then sponsoring you.

Yeah. Do you understand? It's just for us to make people understand that you have to work for it. You have to work for that life that you desire. If you want to live your best life,  you still have to work for it. It's not about preaching hard work. Sorry. It's not about preaching suffering,  but doing what you're supposed to be.

Being ambitious, right? And doing the work. Have that vision or do the work that will enable you to You know, leave your dream. Let's assume I just resumed my, new job, right? I can't start now to start asking them, Oh, I want to go on vacation.  I have to do the work.

I have to prove my words before they would even confirm me. Oh, they said, Oh, this person fits our culture in terms of my performance and everything.  That's where achievement comes in. I have achieved something. I have achieved that I belong here.  Then probably after three months or six months, I can ask my, line manager to say, I want to go on vacation.

They won't blink an eye to approve my vacation. So I can try to travel the world and go and enjoy the life that I want. So that's one way to explain it,  that you can have a life of enjoyment if you haven't worked for it. So do the work first,  then rest will come, the enjoyment will come, the fun will come.

So basically, yes.  Okay. So what you're trying to say is that what you're preaching is not for lazy people. It's not for lazy people at all. Housewife harmony is not for lazy people. It's not at all.  Okay, that's nice. That's nice. I need to work more so that this is my first-class lifestyle would arrive faster.

I wrote I wrote in my goal,  goal affirmation. Every day I affirm it. I said um, I fly, I fly business. I'm first class for all my trees, both locally and internationally. And I'm working for it. Yes. I'm working on it. No more economy.  I'm tapping into this goal, though. We are sharing this goal. 

You know you know that you, you talked about the 12 critical areas of life,  why you are listing all these things. I started feeling a little bit anxious. Do you know why? Do you know why? Because. I'm just one person, you're just one person.  But then there are these various demands for us to achieve or to achieve the goals in these different areas.

 You talk about life harmony, and you realize that we commit. Most of our lives are at the workplace, like in 24 hours. Some people work 8 hours, some people work even more. Not to talk about the time you put in commuting to work and back, you know. So you realize that most of your life is at work 24 hours, except on weekends of course.

Even some people work on Saturdays. Yeah, I know.  So if you look at it, how will somebody be able to give attention to all of these, especially when you're in a workplace where your workplace is not just giving you that time or is not recognizing you as a person, but just an employee that has to just do the work and go home. 

Okay. So how does one human being be present, be present with these 12 critical areas of their lives without losing it?  Wow. That's, that's a very important question.  And it's, it's a state where every one of us, we've been, I am currently one, I just started a new, a new job and it feels like all my life is this job, right? 

You have to be intentional. So that's why I said work like harmony. It's a deliberate practice. Even in my book, I mentioned what the harmonized life deliberate practices for winning in life and work. So you have to be deliberate. You have to be intentional to invest in these important areas of your life.

So, you need to, first of all, identify these areas when you identify them.  The first thing you ask yourself is what is most important.  So it's best to start with an assessment of what is important. And then they are all important. So the answer is that they are all important. Like that's why it's called critical areas of life.

They are all important. Your home and family are important, right? Your relationship and marriage are important. Because if you don't build on this if you don't intentionally.  Investing in this area of life to affect that work that you so much cherish your health and wellness is important because if you are ill, there is little or nothing you can do.

Your productivity will be zero. Yeah,  your energy will be depleted. Right. Your money, your finance, your wealth is important because what are you working for? If you don't, if you can't show,  if you can't show for it, you have nothing to show for it rather, right? It's very important. Your self-esteem, that's what, that's the word, the other one that I missed.

Your self-esteem and confidence are important because what do you bring to the table? It's who you are and, and your worth.  That you assign to yourself. So if I don't believe that I deserve this job, even my employer will not hire me.  So I need to show that, I'm worth this job. I need to, you know, so my confidence, when I enter a room,  do I believe in myself or I start looking at others as if they are, Oh, they are high up there.

And I'm here, right? Fun, and recreation, because these are the ways that we compress from stress.  I'm just mentioning the area so, you can begin to think of how can I invest in these areas. Fund, recreation, it's important to go out. Let me give you an example,  throughout the week, I wasn't feeling well,  I knew that I was not okay.

But then a friend of mine comes into town, calls me, let's go out, let's hang out.  And all through the week, I was thinking of, I need to go to the hospital, I need to go But just Friday and today I've been out having fun. I don't even feel that way anymore.  I don't even feel the element of sickness anymore.

So you need to have fun, you need to recreate, and you need to rest.  As an adult, if you're not getting, a minimum of six hours in a day, then something is wrong.  Then your work, your career, your business,  they're all important. It's a way of fulfilling your purpose. It's well of you to add value to humanity, then friendship and social network.

I always tell people that if it's not my friends,  if it's not my network, I'm not sure I would have been where I am.  I got the job that I have now because of friendship, because of network,  right? The energy, passion, and power.  So that's, also another area of life. If I wasn't passionate about what I'm doing, you wouldn't have known me.

Yeah,  you wouldn't have known me, but I believed in this thing so much. I'm so passionate about it that I don't want it to end with me. God gives us our purpose for others, not for ourselves.  So if I'm somewhere hiding, I didn't intentionally build my visibility so that I can communicate my passion. To humanity to people.

I wouldn't be where I am today. My spirituality and security. I can't joke with it My god is everything right and then success and achievement and then the 12th one is peace and contentment because when you have Invested deeply into all these areas of life The results you get is that sense of contentment peace of mind harmony Okay.

So daily, how can you invest in these areas of your life so that you feel a sense of, peace, contentment, and harmony?  So you have a family, right? Whether you are married or not,  you have your, family, right? Your parents, your siblings, how do you invest in them?

Like if I say a whole day, I don't call my parents. Sorry, a whole week. I don't call my parents. I feel like what are you working for?  Right because these people are my life.  So I make sure I'm always very intentional even if oh I'm not living with them I'm seven thousand miles away from them.

I call them. I find out how they are doing Even if it's just a message that you drop  How are you sure they are? Okay, your family is your sibling  Okay, you are creating time for them.  So what I used to do when I used to set reminders on my phone to call my parents, to call my students. Yes. It might not be every day,  but when people see that they are intentional about you having a sister, like every single day, she calls me.

She was like, no head from you. What's going on? What's she will call me? Sometimes you'd be like, Oh, I feel bored. I just want to talk to you because they know that you're so intentional about them.  My mom will be like,  how can I stay a whole week? I've not heard from you. Are you okay? She will call me like three times, she'll be worried, like what's going on?

So what are you doing? How are you making time for these people that are a part of you?  So that goes to, of course, you calling your children, you're married and you have, you have children, you have a spouse.  How are you intentional about investing in their lives?  What are they doing? How are you supporting them?

People have their love languages. What is their love language? Are you speaking their love language? Right? Then we move to relationships and marriage. If you are married, if you're in a relationship, are you investing in that relationship? Because of this work that we are all fighting for, one day an employer will wake up and say, we do disengage in your case, we know how painful it can be. 

An employer will wake up and tell you, Oh,  your role is no longer important. We are restructuring and we don't need your services anymore.  You have to go back to that wife that you are not taking care of, or that husband that you were not paying attention to his needs,  do you think? Do you think he will be emotionally available to, take care of you in that emotionally devastating state that you are in then? 

That would be difficult. Yeah, exactly. So how are you investing in that area of your life? Your health and wellness, 

it's an area of life that every day people ask me, you look this young, what are you doing? Like me, my eating habit has changed drastically, you know. I walk, people will be like, I'll tell you, I don't eat this. I don't eat that. People will be like, so what do you eat? I eat the things someone was telling me.

I can't remember someone in my office and I was telling her all the things I eat and I was like, this one you are eating as if you don't want to die, please. 

People love these things. I say, yes, not like I don't want to die, but I want to live long. Yeah. And I want to live a very quality life.  So it's not just physical, it's also emotional.  What energies are you, are you connected with? Because energy is very powerful.  I realized recently that maybe before now,  I used to be very, I used to get very overwhelmed.

I used to worry a lot. I have cousins who call me a drama queen. I used to worry a lot. But then I realized that it was not helping me, right? It's... When I worry it is either that I get angry, but there was an incident that happened to me one time with, you know, this handyman and all that came to my house and I told him not to do something.

I was okay. I was fine, but because he did something that I told him not to, I was angry, I was shouting at him. He would believe me. I started having pain instantly.  I started having pain instantly, and I knew that it was just because of my reaction, that negative energy. So I try,  so these days I don't get angry easily.

It's not because, oh, things don't, don't trigger me, but I'm in control. Because I'm now self-aware that these are the things that trigger me. These are the things that cause me negative energy, which also affects my health. I try to control it. Yesterday at work, I got one SMS that I was like, Oh my God, what is this? 

By the time I showed my colleague in the office, he was like, You came, you're so calm.  If it's me that received this kind of message, I would have stormed out of the office, do this, that. I said, no,  I don't need that kind of energy. So it's all about wellness. How are you intentional about your, mental, physical, your spiritual well-being?

So let me quickly go to spirituality. Some people wake up in the morning and they zoom out of the house.  And I feel like it, this is, this is a time bomb,  like, I don't think I can wake up and leave the house without praying, without spending at least one hour meditating, praying.  So recently, I think sometime last year,  I, I was of course studying my scriptures and I have a book where I write down things. 

And God told me one day, I said, I don't want you to keep this thing in your book alone. I want you to start sharing it,  you know, so if you go to my Facebook, you see where I write after my meditation, I just put a summary and then a prayer. If I tell you the impact of that,  you won't believe it. Some people will call, I have people that will be like, okay,  it's as if you are speaking to my needs today.

I don't know them.  But it is what I do every day. Where do I get the time? Of course, I created an hour. I wake up at 5 AM  and I spend one hour reading my scripture, praying, and sharing that message with others.  So I'm also feeding their soul and that's how I'm committing to my passion. My purpose, remember my purpose, ultimately bring them close to the Father's hearts.

success is  multidimensional. It could be one thing you are doing, but the impact is,  you can feel the impact in the other areas of your life.  I'm not a pastor. I'm not nothing, but it's just my way of connecting to my spirituality, connecting to my God.  Do you understand?

And then your work,  some people treat their work with levity. I'm not the type of person who treats my work with levity. I give it my best. Like, I give it my best.  You know, when I resumed this work,  it was a whole lot.  My friends would be like Kim, you don't have time for us again. I said, please understand that this is a new job and I need to complete the place.

I need to prove my work.  And every day I pray, I ask God for that's, that's excellence in whatever that I do. You ask God for excellence in whatever it is. So putting your best in your work,  if you put in your best in your work, it will impact your finances because your employer will see you, Oh, you're doing this, you're, you're going above and beyond.

They will promote you. They will recognize the work you're doing. It's more money for you,  right?  One month of working in my organization, this year, I got a recognition just one month, you know, so do your best. Exceed expectations, right? And the money will come, but then what do you do with the money? So that's another question you ask yourself because you need that area to grow.

What do you do with the money? Are you investing in it?  Are you creating, or are you multiplying that money that you are earning? Are you planning it well, or you are just, Oh, the money is there. Let me leave accounts for it. I've made my mistakes. Like I've made my own financial mistake, but we learn every day.

Yeah.  Then your friends, your social network, how are you investing in that area of your life? 

I make it a point of duty to connect with my friends, call them, keep in touch, and care about them because when you care about them, they will, be people,  these things are energy that will reciprocate. Right. Yeah. It will come back to you.  A few months ago, I wasn't feeling well. My mom was around and nursed me to take care of me.

And she was, she was overwhelmed by the amount of support I got from my friends. And when she was leaving, she said, I know, I know I'm leaving you in good hands. You are blessed with friends.  You are blessed with friends. So  I said, my friends, my family,  those, those, those are my wealth. I call them my wealth. 

So what are you doing intentionally? So I don't have to see them every day. I don't have to see my family every day. I don't have to see my friends every day. But how are you investing in their own life?  Because when you invest in theirs, they will invest in yours. They will reciprocate. Yes. So what other area have I missed?

It's not an everyday thing. So that's why I said it's not balanced, but you must understand what is important. at every point in time and then make sure that you are intentionally investing in those things that are important.  It's not an everyday thing that you have to sit down and say, oh, okay, today it has to be this.

It has to be that. So  I'm working now. I haven't gone on vacation for a long time, but it doesn't have, you don't have to.  Travel the world for you to,  for you to have fun. I told you last night, it was, it wasn't the same. It was just in the simple things. It was only the company, the phone, the conversation.

And what you do that creates fun. It doesn't have to be expensive.  I'm sure we didn't spend up to 100, 000. We didn't even spend up to 50, 000, but we had fun. We enjoyed each other's company.  So these are really important things. I've spoken about spirituality, so let me not dwell so much on that. At the end of the day, if you are investing in all these areas, it will, the impact will show in your success and achievement if you define what success means to you.

A lot of people Define success as, oh, I have wells, I have money, I have a hundred cars, or I live on Banana Island.  You have to define what success means to you. And when you define it and understand it, you'll be able to know when you are living that life.  And at the end of the day, if you are indeed doing the things you are supposed to do, investing in these areas of your life, you will feel as if you will be in a state of contentment, you will feel at peace.

And that for me is what harmony is all about. Wow.  As you are talking, I went through three different experiences. One of them was, I felt inspired. Yeah, I got the same feeling around my throat. And then the second one was, wow, wow, wow. But do you know what the third one was? 

It was like... Okay. Okay. Don catch me. I know you don catch me.  Oh my God. You spoke on so many, things that I need to revisit. I don't know. It seemed like you were talking to me. I don't know about the list. That's what you were talking to me at some point, especially when it comes to relationships with people, 

. Yeah, thank you so much for this detailed explanation. 

 So you're just going to do two things. Okay, before we conclude, one of them is just one word you're going to give to somebody who is listening or somebody who wants to achieve work, life, and money, just something very simple. And then the second thing you're going to tell us more about this book, because this,  I saw the book, I think it's 200 something pages. 

Yes, I have it here. So let me check. I'm not sure. I'm not sure anymore.  It's, yes, 285. 285. And I only, I only, I flipped through the first few, is it the first chapter or the first two chapters?  And I was already getting a wealth of knowledge that was helpful. I just love how practical you write, you know, you make it relatable.

So what word are you going to give to a listener that is aiming to achieve work-life harmony?  Okay. I will still take you back to the subtitle of my book, Deliberate Practices for Winning in Life and Work.

So,  the summary is for us to be intentional, to be deliberate.  Identify what is truly important to you. You have to,  you have to identify, look at the critical areas of your life. And the first place is for you to begin to assess yourself. Where am I in those areas of your life?  When you understand your current state. 

The next question you ask yourself is what is my desired state?  When you find your desired states, you'll be able to see the gap.  The next action is to intentionally begin to invest in those areas of your life that will begin to do the things, take actions, and begin to do the things that will enable you to move from your current state to your desired state. 

And I am here for you if you, if any of our listeners need any form of support to walk through the journey because it's, it's also not something we do alone. I didn't do it alone. I'm not self-made. I agree. I'm not self-made. I had, I had mentors. I had friends. If I didn't go through the coaching program. 

I wouldn't have known as much as I, and even after the coaching program, I still had to, you know, sign up for some mentorship with Lanre. And I have other people that I see that are living my desired life. And I had to, you know, get close to them because I am being intentional. So be intentional about your life. 

I remember someone calling me recently and saying, Nkem, I'm so proud of you. I know. This person knows me, even when I was not in the HR space, and all the efforts I put into moving into this space. I would call him, I would cry, there's nothing, right?  And he was like, I'm just so glad that, eventually in a short space,  you achieved that dream of yours.

You are intentional. You are deliberate. And I'm so proud of you. So all I will say is be intentional,  understand where you are,  and don't see yourself as a failure. Whatever you feel right now, it's, it's valid. I feel you,  even if you feel stuck. I was once there. I understand where you wanna be, and if you need help, I'm always there to support you to get your desired state.

So basically then about my book, yes.  , I poured everything in here. I poured everything in here. Wow. When I receive feedback from people, sometimes I, I'm like, I wrote this book. Sometimes some feedback shocks me. I'm telling you the truth.   My brother told me.  That's my book and he can attribute his success story to this book of mine.

And I'm like, I shared it today. He told me that he said, yes,  you know, so 

I'm feeling emotional.  It's okay. Yeah, that's all right.  That's all right. Emotional at this point.  I put it all in this book and all I can say is go grab it. If you are in Nigeria,  you can go to walk into any Roving Height's bookstore. They are in Abuja and they are in Lagos. You can also order through my website and you have access to it.

That's all I can say.  It's also on Amazon.  Yes, I'm sure you got yours from Amazon. I'll get the paper, the paperback. I need to print it here.  Awesome. So it's on Amazon, yes.  Thank you. My website is just www. kemo. amfo. com  I'll still, I'll still put it in the description.

I'll put it there. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You, you, you, when you see people, you don't even realize what they carry. Like the wealth of knowledge, experience,  and insights. insights that they carry. You're just one person that's inspired me today. And just from you speaking, I've even picked up actionable stuff to do,  to be honest.