#Ep6 23 life lessons from 2023 to boost wellness & productivity

In this episode, I share 23 life lessons from 2023 and 2 bonus tips to boost your wellness and productivity in 2024.

Transcript

 Hello and welcome back to another episode of De-Stress with Dr. E.  This is the last episode for the year 2023, and I thank you so much for joining me on this journey that started on the 1st of December this year. And look at how far we've gone.  On the sixth episode already. Wow, that's really amazing.  So I thought of something different this time around, and that is to summarize the year 2023, so that we'll just continue from where we stopped.

So that to not be like we are starting our, our lives are fresh, like trying to figure out things from the beginning, you know? So.  In my yearly review, while I was reviewing the year 2023, I had to compile all the things that has helped me from January this year to December this year, and these life lessons have compressed them to 23 life lessons that has been helpful to me in this year.

And I believe that it's going to be helpful to someone that's listening to me, especially as you're planning and preparing for the new year to smash those goals, to be on top of your game with regards to managing your stress  wellness  managing your life in general and thriving in everything you are doing.

Okay, so.  Let's quickly get started now. The first one is you won't achieve your goals without discipline. I believe this one is very obvious, so you can't expect yourself to be sleeping  so much and then achieve every goal that you've set out.  I know that sleep is essential for your productivity, but oversleeping is not allowed, and you have to be disciplined with your social media  use.

You don't need to spend all this time on social media. Just limit the time you're spending so that you can invest time properly into other things that really matter. Okay? Number two is mind the business that pays you.

Sometime this year I hosted a a, a webinar called  Laser  Focused Life is. Hey, this is my journey. This is my path. I don't care what's going on around me. I'm going to stay focused on this till I achieve my goals. So hop onto the laser focused life. Number three, don't dwell so much on negative circumstances.

Seek opportunities in that trouble. Hey this year really showed many people. Pepper. And um, when I asked questions on my email list about how the year has been so far, a lot of people said that they've been so stressed this year.  And 2024, we are not even sure of what's going to happen next year.

Is it going to be better? Is it going to be worse? Now, what you're going to be carrying with you is  remember not to dwell so much on that negative circumstance. If not, you're going to set yourself up for depression and even suicide. So this is what you can do when those negative emotions start coming or when those negative. 

Situation happens like a rejection email or anything like that.  It's okay to cry about them. It's okay to worry about them, but don't dwell on them so much. Start thinking about the next step, the next way out, the opportunity in that situation. What am I learning from here so that you can move on with your life, all right?

So that you don't get into that cycle of worrying and then leading to depression and then leading to questioning why you are even existing. Okay? Now, number four is be clear on why you do what you do and what's at stake. If you don't, I know that the common thing out there is, hmm.  What's my why?

Why am I doing this? But then you can go the extra mile to also be clear on what happens or what will likely happen if you don't follow up on that goal. What's a stick? Is it the people you are going to serve? Is it the money you're going to lose out on? Is it the awesome relationship you would miss building?

As in be very, very clear on what's a stake, because these are the things that will give you the right amount of.  To do the things you've set out to do to achieve those goals you've set out to do okay, and also the right amount of energy to show up consistently.  Now, the.  The goal is to be slow to anger.

Don't make rash decisions or negative confessions when angry.  This one is very clear. I know that there are so many anger management courses out there, but how about training yourself to be slow to getting to that point where you start needing anger management? So.  It works.  Try it. It's something new.

It's something refreshing. Be very, very slow to anger. Okay,  . Now the sixth one is, life is not measured by how much you own. It's okay to be ambitious, but beware of greed. If you look out.  For instance, LinkedIn. If you're on LinkedIn, you're always reading news about, oh, I'm thankful. I'm happy I've achieved this.

I'm happy that I've achieved that.  Why? All these are awesome. Also, remember, uh, horizontal connections, horizontal achievements. So I, I divided life achievements or impacts into two.  The vertical. The one that goes up like this,  the horizontal, the one that goes sideways.

So the vertical is you climbing all the ladders, achieving all the goals,  ticking all the boxes, and getting all the congratulations and all of that. Then horizontal is the impact you are making with people around you. Impact you're making in lives, you know, what's that positive impact you're actually making?

Life is also measured. Buy this and not just the things you are getting. So while you are ambitious,  be wary of greed. And greed comes when, where you just wanna get things done at the expense of anything. It doesn't care if you're hurting other people. You don't. You don't care if you're hurting other people.

You don't care if you're trampling down on other people or, or pressing other people. So beware of greed. Now, number seven is,  I'm yet to find one thing.  Achieved or added to my life. Each time I worry  , I know that this one is obvious, but then think about it, the last time you worried about something, somehow.

Somehow it got sorted. Like what did you do?  What did you do special? Was it a miracle or was it something you did for yourself? Now when you start worrying again, ask yourself,  how will worrying change this situation?  I've been through what situations in the past and somehow, somehow.  They got sorted. So why do I think that this one is going to be different?

Why do I think that this one wouldn't be sorted as well? So why should I spend the time worrying so much about it rather than getting to work and seeking solutions and start talking to people, praying, you know, doing the right things that will help you get of that situation. So worrying doesn't add anything to my life, and I know that it doesn't add anything to your own life.

All right, now the eighth one is,  what's something good in your life that brings you peace and joy?  Invest heavily into it. You know, life is short. Life is short to spend it being sad, being worried, being angry. So are there things that bring you joy? For myself, I'm going to be honest with you, my, my time.

The presence of God brings me so much joy and happiness, so I invest heavily in it and it helps me thrive in every other sphere of my life so I don't have to worry about so many things at the same time. So what is that thing that brings you joy and peace in your life? Invest heavily into them. Number  nine

is give God glory for all things. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed. It's a lesson for me. I landed the hard way where I took credit for everything that happened in my life, but I.  Oh God, I got a warning. Don't do that again. Give God every glory. Every glory. If you are someone that believes in God, now this is for you.

Okay? Don't take all the credits.  Now. Number 10 is don't wait for everything to be perfect before you start.  Someone's life is on the line. So before you procrastinate that dream, that that idea,  remember the impact it's going to have on someone's life, remember the impact it's even going to have on your own life.

Whether is money, more money, or more influence or anything wonderful out there. So think about  how you're going to deny someone of something that  they should have.  Just because you're procrastinating and you know that needs are actually time sensitive,  probably somebody needed it at that particular time.

And then, you choose not to show because things have not perfected or you just don't feel like it, Hey, don't do that. So  in this coming year, 2024.  Get up and get to work. Lives are at stake. You are holding onto something that belongs to someone. Okay,  number  11 says, don't look down on anyone.

I'm not going to dwell so much on this one. It's very clear. Don't look down. On anyone  , no matter who, number 12, some people have longer waiting and refining time than others. It's for a reason. This is something I've learned over the years. Come on, you see some people that are waiting for something for three years, five years, 10 years,  who?

And then somebody else is waiting for something just for six months and they're getting it.  When you look at people like that, you realize that.  It wasn't actually a waiting time, it was actually a refining season, and when they come out of it, you'd be like, who are you? So don't compare yourself to anyone.

There are certain projects that need more preparation, like if they launch you prematurely,  it won't be as impactful as you should have been. You know? So. Don't just compare your waiting season to another person's waiting. Season  number  13 is protect your heart from avian jealousy.  It eats you deep.

Celebrate people genuinely. And if somebody's doing something that you love.  It's either you celebrate them and move on and focus on your craft or you get inspired by them. But don't let jealousy or envy rule your heart. It just eats you up for nothing.  . And you know what? Those people that you are envying will not go down no matter how you wish for them to go down in your heart.

They will not go down. So sorry to bo your bubbles   now. Number 14 is show up consistently because you're holding onto something that belongs to someone. I think I've mentioned this one.  Well, let's call it number 14. Number 15 is when you are overwhelmed, ask for help. This is a special shout out to strong people. 

I know that you want to figure out your life yourself. I know you want to fix everything yourself. You just don't want to bother people because other people come to you for help and you don't want them to see you as weakly and as somebody that is also asking for help.  See guys, there is no heroism in trying to fix your life yourself.

When you are overwhelmed, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to reach out to somebody and say, please help me. It's for your own good and for the generation you're seven. Because the truth is we all need you whole. We all need you sane, both physically and mentally. But if you are always showing up, overwhelmed, it's you won't last.

You won't last. Burnout is knocking on the door and every other thing associated with stress is knocking on the door. Number 16, there is no hero reason killing yourself for that job. I know you love your job.  Okay,  , I know you are going for promotions. I know you're going to, um, impress your boss to do the right things by the book so that you will be retained in that workplace. 

Remember guys, once anything happens to you, you'll be replaced the next minute.  Because the job has to go on, so there is no hero in killing yourself. Take your breaks. Take your rests. Okay, number 17. Be quick to recognize the warning signs of stress your body is giving you. If you've been listening to my.

Podcasts,  , almost all of them have this particular one. Listen to your body guys in 2024. Don't ignore the signs. Don't ignore the signs and put it down to, oh, it's nothing.  Go and get checked so that we will tell you, okay, it's actually nothing. Then leaving things to the dying minute and it gets worse. And now you're battling for your lives.

No, no, no. Don't do that. Okay.  Number 18, get adequate rests. Take your breaks,  schedule your rest the same way you are planning your life, you're planning how much money you're going to make the same way, schedule your rest. Okay, there is time for everything. Number 19, I love this one.  Multitasking is a silent corporate that stresses you out quickly,  especially when your results don't match the effort you put in. 

Can you relate? Because I can relate, for instance.  If I'm  creating content, if I'm writing down content for the podcast, at the same time I'm attending to two little children that are hungry or that just need my attention, at the same time I'm replying to emails. At the same time, I'm checking my social media. 

If I was meant to create content for.  One hour you realize, I realize that I've spent three hours trying to create the same content, and by the time I'm done, I'm feeling exhausted and I'm wondering, what did I do? Like what exactly did I do?  It'll be like I spent the three hours doing so many things or even going to farm,  but. 

Results doesn't match the effort.  Okay? So  multitasking is a silent corporate that stresses you out very quickly. Now, number 20 is what you read,  what you watch, what you listen to.  Who or what you spend time with put actively and passively influence how you behave, how you think, and how you respond to situations. 

Guard your hearts jealously.  I know that it's a harmless social media post..  I know that you didn't plan to spend time to  read that post on social media, but I'll tell you something. It's influencing you, , whether I like it or not, passively, it's influencing your life.

Number 21.  It always gets better. Don't give up.  I remember that. That this is the mantra I was always telling my husband when we came to the UK newly guys, it was tough.  It was tough at that period,  but one thing I kept telling us was.  It always gets better. It always gets better.

Don't spend your time whining, complaining. Just focus on what you're doing so long as you're on the right path. So long as you know you're doing the right things, just keep doing it. It'll always gets better. Take this from me. It always works. Okay,  and number 22,  when you place people where they truly belong in your life.

It helps you regulate your expectations of them and also preserve relationships even better. This is for those that call everybody bestie. I'm your bestie. Hey, that's my bestie. You get to work your work colleague. All of a sudden you're now calling your work colleague your bestie, and then you invite them for an event and they don't show up.

You start get getting angry and frustrated that they don't love you,  guy or babe.  How do you expect somebody that barely know you to show up for things like that just because you invited them,  place people where they actually belong in your life  so that your expectations will not be cut short, eh, don't go and be calling somebody Vesty Vesti, whereas they're just your work colleague.



So place them where they truly belong. Because it'll help preserve the relationship.  Nobody's ego is bruised. Nobody's feeling bad about how the relationship turned out  and everybody's happy.  , is that difficult? Of course not.  And then number's 23,  invest in your work with God.  It enhances your wellness journey. 

See?  Everyone now is talking about spiritual wellness.  I'm not talking about Africa. I know that this  podcast is for Africans, but I'm not even talking about Africans. People are talking about spiritual wellness.  

So what are you connecting to? For me, I'm connecting to God.  So invest in your work with God.  Okay. It really, really enhance your wellness journey in this year, 2024. Those I didn't tell you. Mm.  Now I'm going to give you two more bonus tips,  and that is, lemme call it number 24 years.  

Men also cry. Be empathetic with them. Men also cry.  I've noticed something when men cry or when men  talk about what's going on in their lives,  we are usually quick to dismiss them because we don't expect them.  To feel low. We don't expect them to be moody. We don't expect them to be sad because it's like a women's thing. 

No, that era is gone. Okay. Men also cry, so show them that empathy. Help them support them wherever possible. Okay. And then the final one I'm going to leave you with is you can only see as far as, you know, as far as you've experienced, as far as you've dreamed, and to a bigger extent, the people around you,

if the people around you are, are those that tell you things like, Hmm. Like when you share a big idea with them and they're like, Hmm, I don't think that idea will work. Hmm.  When you're around people like that, do you think you'll go further than them? La la li But if you are around people that have done things that you never imagined, there is this inspiration you get from them, this motivation, this ginger that you can, that you can break a wall with your hands, you know?

So.  2020 for mid 2024, your year of impossibilities where you believe that you can do every single thing you set your heart to. If anyone told me that by the end of 2023,  I'll be driving a manual car on expat level, I'm not kidding,  , I wouldn't have believed it.  But  one thing my brother told me is zine, do not limit yourself.

And when he told me that, I took on the challenge to learn how to drive manal cars this year, 2023. And here I am driving it excellently. Well, in fact, at a point I was frustrated, but  , I'm so glad that's happened. So guys.  Don't limit yourself. Don't limit yourself  that you've dreamed. It means you can achieve it.

Okay? So welcome to your 2024, the year of  achieving the Impossibles. And let me add another one. It's, it's also your money year. Okay.  So here is to your health and wellness, and your best year yet.  Cheers and congratulations as we move into 2024.  Thank you for joining to this podcast, and  I would really appreciate your review, your feedback.  . And if you have any suggestion on  the topics, you'll want to hear from me or the guests you want me to invite, even if it's you, please reach me out via email in the description box.

And if you're happy to support this podcast financially as well, there is a support link. On how you wanna support so that I'll continue to create all some content for you in the year 2024. So here is to a wholesome year where you are thriving, where you are doing your work, and also where you are performing optimally without burnout and making all the money. 

Congratulations.